I wanted to stay anonymous for a while, since this blog was supposed to be just for my venting, but why should I hide behind the computer right? I have the right to be this emotional, it is a trait that is unique to me. Colleges will surely see this and wonder why I wanted to stay anonymous in the first place, so why not just reveal who I am right? I have a lot of flaws that anyone who has ever read this blog will know, but I also have a lot of good qualities that should make me special just like my flaws make me me. Life just is...who knows what will happen in the next moment, maybe I will turn into a swan from the ugly duckling I am...maybe this blog will become something people will frequent...(the probability of that happening is really low) :] I hid behind the screen name of Citrine because I found it easy to use, its my birth stone and "if you really knew me.." has been written by me in a lot of places, it was just the matter of whether or not I was important enough that people would look for this blog. I also have a habit of leaving the computer screen to my blog just so it is more accessible to the people I want to read my posts, but they honestly never got the hint as it seems. Nothing has changed, if I say what I feel, it becomes useless, it just makes matters worse. I somehow am entrapped by the stupid rule of being youngest means not getting your feelings expressed. I love being Filipino, don't get me wrong but it seems like there is no worth to my feelings and emotions. Even if I'm right, it will never be known because I am obligated to keep my feelings to myself.
"If you really knew me..." is actually derived by me from the Challenge Day that my school did twice in my middle school.


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