Church

All my life I have only known how to be Catholic, and honestly, even that I didn't exactly know how to do well. I knew that you were a good Catholic if you went to Church every Sunday and prayed and always kept a connection with God, but now that I have gone to a different religion's mass, I realized just how bad I have been, Not only does my family not go to church regularly on Sundays, but even I have just made saying a prayer before I eat just a routine, something you just do, no longer because I believed by saying the prayer, the food was actually blessed, I just did it to say that yes, I did pray before I ate...It sucks too that I realized this after going to church with him. Everything I have come to realize isn't really valid for everyone else since they just think that I'm doing this just to get closer to him. Yes, it would be fun to learn how to get back the connection I once tried to have with God if Nick is around, but he isn't the main reason I want to do it again. I was once trying to read the Bible, when I was still in CCD, that was me before really getting to know Nick. That was me before he invited me to church with him. That was me before he became one of my closest friends. The mass we attended today was very home-y and casual. It felt like the pastor was just having a conversation with everyone, it actually could have been a conversation over camp fire or something, it was that comfortable. I used to always lose focus in Church just because I didn't really feel like I was part of a conversation. I learned a lot in CCD, as far as I remember,  but I don't really remember what exactly I learned. After today's mass, I can say I learned more than I ever really did in CCD. I told my parents about wanting to read the Bible as easily as others can, and really knowing what each passage means, that was how the mass was today, it wasn't just the pastor reading with us a passage, it was also him explaining the relevance and just why exactly the passage is as powerful as others think it is.  I'm not trying to pass judgement on either religions, I have just realized which one fits better for me, which one works for me.