What is your Lighthouse?

What's Your Purpose in Life?
What's Your Why?

   These questions have been haunting me recently. Working in an industry in which motivation and drive are determined mostly by the individual require having the answer to these two questions could be frustrating if said questions aren't answered. Sometimes the answers are different, serving your life's purpose is not always the reason why you have to do something. It's not always the reason why you have to get up in the morning and interact with others.

  But that's exactly why I've been stuck.

This whole time, I've been feeling like it's necessary to have both questions answered. My why is very hard to figure out because I don't have anything  or anyone that is too dependent on me.
I have student loans, but they're not necessarily something that will imprison me into anything...yes I'll struggle really hard if they're not paid off in time, but at this point in my life, it's not necessarily going to make me get up early in the morning and get to work.

 My purpose in life....
   I've always thought it was to help people, and I figured if having a purpose in life that is driven by something that's pure, it would come easier to me.
The truth is there is no guarantee in this world...we can try to take as many signs from the universe as possible and still end up confused and without an actual path.

My Why?
    I don't know what that is, and it's scary to me that I should know it and I should have really known it way before I started.

Right now, I guess my why is pride...my why is that I don't want to seem like a failure, I don't want people to be able to tell me "I told you so"

I know, pride and letting pride dictate things is not good....It will keep me stuck, and that should scare me more than it currently does.

This post is a mess,
     I've never been the kind of person who knew how to fake it until I make it after all.


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