Then...

Friendship, as much as we want it to be a guaranteed thing, it will never be clear to us who we become friends with and who we stop being friends with.(I don't really know why I was so redundant here and not to mention how this sentence doesn't really make any sense) There are never clear signs for anything. A friendship could stop without your knowledge, but a new could also begin in the same way. When one relationship ends, it is the doorway for a new one to start.(How cheesy could I have been then? haha) Most often, the new friendships we make are out of nowhere, getting to know people we might have once overlooked. (very true, maybe not exactly overlook, but people you just wouldn't imagine yourself texting frequently even though you're two hours away and don't see them at all.) Sometimes a person without an entourage is more approachable.(I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that a person is the most approachable when it's just them or another friend) Sure seeing someone alone isn't really inviting than a big group, but sometimes people don't choose to be alone in the beginning, it becomes a choice in the end, when they realize how trying to be a part of a big group feels.(My feelings got in the way here, it kind of makes sense to me, but that's only because of personal experience....it's pretty much an experience that can't be explained too easily.) Some try so hard that they break down and stop being able to feel wanted, when it is apparent that there actions aren't appreciated or they themselves are not appreciated anymore....my thoughts now...Some try so hard that they don't realize how much of their individuality they lose trying to fit in. I'm not saying that they necessarily do things that are totally not what they believe in, though it does happen in some cases...I don't think I, or the people I lost touch with wanted me to do anything I didn't, but the changes between me and the group is very apparent now, I wasn't ready, and I was getting myself ready for a totally different thing than they were. When I wrote what I wrote above, I was just starting to realize how much I no longer "fit in" with the people I knew as my friends for more than 5 years. I wrote this when I was particularly feeling alone, I was at Big Brother Big Sister on my own because everyone else was getting the shore house ready and my little didn't show up. A lot of things contributed to this post, I had a lot of feelings then, feelings I didn't even know I was having. From that time to now, a lot of things have completely changed. Words were spoken and words I said I absolutely regret saying, but it's now the past for everyone else, I just have to find the same motivation to move past it now.