Colleges have been sending everyone letters, emails, and links to make juniors and seniors alike be impressed with them...honestly, it's annoyingly helpful.  Although it's only making my choices of colleges seem greater, it also helps me eliminate some schools I may have though about. It usually does the former though.  It's hard to think that in just two years, I, myself will be going into my freshman year in college. It seems bizarre to even think of resumes and getting internships, but I have to face it soon.  Of course, like everything else, the cost of college scares me, no longer is education free for me. I have hopes in getting scholarships, but I don't have high hopes that they will satiate my four years in college, just hopefully I can find a college that is suited for me that doesn't cost me and my family too much money.  With worrying about college comes worrying about the career I will hopefully have after college. I would like to pursue a career in sociology, what exactly, I'm not entirely sure. I don't want to be a complete disappointment, so I might pick a field that will bring in a considerable amount of money for my family, enough money to help my parents out and to hopefully pay college loans as fast as possible. 
                                  Fashion merchandising keeps coming to mind when I think about what I think I'm good at, fashion for me is amazing.  I'm not exactly the kind of girl who is edgy in her fashion choices but I learn easily, I can tell what looks good on people easily, or at least I like to think so.  I do know what doesn't look good on certain people.  I have patience, I guess that's what a girl in my position needs to have. I simply cannot be like my friends who just go into stores and pick out cute tops and dresses without thinking too much about the price, I have to patiently look through racks and racks of clothes that are in the clearance sections of stores like Ross(where practically everything is already cheap without the clearance price). I guess that's one of my good traits, patience? Obviously a weakness I have is low self-confidence, which immediately gets boosted when I know that the outfit I'm wearing is put together well.  Picture taking used to be a favorite past time of mine, but ever since getting alopecia,  I have always felt self-conscious. Getting terribly off topic is always a weakness.
               One of my many aunts have apparently offered to pay for the costs of my books, but now that she knows that I don't exactly want to go into the medical field, I think she doesn't exactly want to go through with it. My uneasiness in telling her what major I wanted to go into may have been a big reason, but who can blame me...she is intimidating and I couldn't help but be tongue-tied in front of her. I can only hope that another aunt can invest in me and my studies.  I think that my skills can definitely become way better after taking summer classes or partaking in pre-college activities, but they are just too costly. How do colleges expect people to have that much money? I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up about it though, so yes, it is my fault entirely, on getting my hopes up. No one ever said life was going to be fair. I can only hope and dream that I can fulfill everything I want to in life. If only I can get it in myself to brave the so called real world. If only I could be one of those accidental stars, at least in the field I plan to go into.  If only I could be an overnight blog-star. haha as if. If only somehow I could be the best at something, if only there was something that only I could do.
                I really hope that colleges can see the best in all I do, hopefully I can be good enough for once for someone :)

Hopefully I can find someone who can help me in achieving my dreams
I Need someone who can see what others, including myself, can't see with myself.
I need to gain leadership qualities and a high self-confidence.

then again, all leadership conferences I have been offered cost thousands of money, so I guess it's all on me


gigi said…
I wish I can help you fulfill your dreams. I wish I can get there soon so I can cover some of your college expenses. I can only hope that one day a letter will arrive with the dates of my initial interview and soon Sabrina, Benjie and I will be with the whole family.

You are what you think you are if you continue to believe. Raise your plans and dreams to the Lord and God will help you overcome your weakness. And he will do the rest.

I love you my dear sissy.

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